My Kinda Social Justice Warrior

I was never much of a fan of revolution until I saw the uniforms. Particularly the ones they gave to the girls. Eugene Delacroix was on the spot to capture the new fashion and I am grateful.

I even approve of the musket, though my experience of the 1777 Charleville .69 calibre arm was mixed. It had a good barrel, and  a convenient set of barrel bands to allow for cleaning, but the stock was woefully short coupled – the French must all have had short arms and tiny physiques. The British Brown Bess was a much more comfortable firearm to use. About the only really clever thing the French did was put a locking ring on the tree-cornered bayonet so that you could withdraw it without having it fall off the barrel.*

The heading image is only part of Delacroix’s painting; ” Liberty Leading The People “- if you google it you’ll get to see the chaps on the lady’s right and the kid with the pistol. The one with the top hat seems to be hefting a blunderbus…which leads one to question who exactly he is, with the fancy clothes and the civilian man-killer. Stagecoach guard? Gamekeeper?

Further to her right is a pirate with a cutlass. He’s also got a pistol aimed at his own goolies.

The kid with the pistol is actually toting two of them, plus an improbably large bag of accessories. It may contain his play lunch.

And they are all climbing over a pile of broken furniture and rubbish. Delacroix has used the caption to suggest a noble purpose for it all, but after looking at this lot, I have come to the conclusion that Liberty is not really leading the people. She’s had a good look at them and is doing her best to get away from them.

I should too. Armed amateurs with no sense of firearms responsibility. Any SSAA range officer would throw ’em out in a minute.

*  When the US Army redesigned the basic musket in 1842 they added more stock and wrist to it and it became a really good battlefield shotgun. But by then the rifled musket was the queen of battle so it was a second-line item.

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No Knives In The Heart Of The Empire…

It would appear that there is no possibility of carrying a knife in London – or possibly in any other part of the UK. They are so worried that the citizens will stab each other that they are removing all possibility of it.

Of course, this will be somewhat of  partial measure, as we have discovered – by careful scientific experiments – that it is possible to stab people with other things. The local criminals here in Western Australia seem to carry a great many screwdrivers and I daresay there are any number of sharp combs and other implements to hand nearly everywhere one goes. I favour my heavy brass-bound walking stick when dressed for an evening, and my Gerber folder when taping up wires and lighting rigs out in the photo world. At home, of course the good old butcher’s knife and the Swedish feather are always to hand. The swivel gun, mortar, rifled musket,and crossbow have all been sold off or given to other people so they do not figure in the equation. One hardly needs them in our suburb.

And that brings a question to mind of what sort of people are in the UK – to require such stringency. It cannot be a case of race – we have every variety of human in our street and we never stab each other. We do not run each other over in motor cars to promote religious belief, either, though I can count the adherents of 6 separate faiths in the street and can guess at a couple more. There is something to be said for living in the colonies…

I’m glad did my UK travelling some decades ago – when it was safe to walk the streets. I now quite prefer Singapore or Japan…where it is safe to walk the streets. Perhaps the British should think of importing more Singaporeans or Japanese to their island to improve the stock…

Mary O’Nette

I am deriving a great deal of pleasure and interest through my use of social media – but then you have to remember that I also used to have a good time shooting gophers on my Uncle Jude’s farm in Montana.

In my defence then, I was young and uncaring – in my defence now, I have grown older…

My current savage amusement is watching people jerk, bounce, and twist to the impact of memes – the preferred ammunition of the smarmy and righteous. The spectacle is made all the more enjoyable by the realisation that the victims are people of intelligence -and that in most cases they are willing targets. They stand up on the psychological parapet and try to attract the snipers.

Do you want someone to think the way you do? Meme them.

Want them to condemn something for your benefit?  Hand them a loaded meme and slip the safety off.

Want to look smarter, cooler, prettier, or finer than you really are? Meme your way to it. No-one will dare question you if they are looking down the barrel of a meme.

And the best part is you can make the victims think that they are all unique – and all in exactly the same way. One meme will fit all.

Isn’t the internet wonderful? Share this on Facebook and Twitter.

SOBCoin…You Knew It Was coming

Now that the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia has launched the BGAcoin it was only a matter of time before it released the next in the series – the Bitscoin. This should be carefully distinguished from Bitcoin by the fact that there is an ” s ” in the middle and by the fact that we only accept cash in a brown paper bag to pay for it. Or chickens. Or S&H coupons.

Let’s face it…we’ll take anything.

And that’s the problem. The cryptocurrency market needs respectability and dignity, and the BGA keeps very little stock of that. So we are going to introduce the ultimate respectable and dignified business scheme that you just read about on our cellphone screen – the Bitscoin.

To help us market this easy passport to financial success ( ours ), we have engaged Sunova Marketing Associates to lay the proposition before the public. They’ve agreed to lend their name to the project – we are proud to announce the Sunova Bitscoin.

There will be several levels of marketing available for this product – all the way from the Simple Sunova Bits to the Complex Sunova Bits. Those of you who have ever taken apart a Holley 4-barrel carburetor will know exactly what we mean. There will be Mean Sunova Bits and Lying Sunova Bits available, too, but only if you are over 18. We anticipate a good market in Canada where this sort of thing has been a long-established tradition, eh?

Remember that you will never forgive yourself if you do not buy Sunova Bitscoins now. Tomorrow will be too late, and it may be difficult to contact our representatives. If we play our cards right…

Trigger Issues

A new buzz phrase seems to be in the social media – ” trigger issue ” – which can cover anything that you decide it means – if you want to be angry about something you think up a series of triggers that will set you off. They need not be terrible things per se, because you can think up a story that makes anything into an opportunity to be angry – it is, after all, the way you want to be in the first place.

Ah, but are you doing it right? Are you sensitive enough…and seen to be sensitive enough by the cool crowd…to react quickly before the topic goes away? Perhaps it is time to advance to the next level: ” the set trigger issue “.

Set triggers have been around for centuries – they date far back into the muzzle-loading firearm days for hunting and target shooting. Any time the shooter needed to let the gun discharge with the lightest possible touch the set trigger was employed. They were not used in muskets or military firearms as these had to survive being cocked and carried in the rough and tumble of battle.

The set trigger was a two-part thing. You cocked the flintlock, then pulled the rear, curved trigger until it clicked. Then the front, straight trigger would fire off at the very slightest touch. If you lost your chance to fire you had to take the cock down off of full to half-cock and discharge the tension on the trigger.

The aspiring social warrior or fame-hunter can also use this technique. They think of an issue about which they have practiced a politically correct response, then analyse it for a key word that might be uttered in normal conversation. They attach this to the set trigger and pull it until it clicks. Then anyone even breathing it…or even something that sounds like it…can get the full roar of a discharge.

It’s very effective in giving the Facebook shooter an advantage – being the first-in frequently dominates any social exchange. And the advantage over discharging a real muzzle-loading rifle is that you don’t need to be accurate or even to hit the target. And you don’t have to wash the barrel out with hot soapy water afterwards.

Remember: You don’t have to be right to be righteous.

The Drones – Part Four – The Right To Self Defence

Pshaw!

What right? You hardly have it if you are attacked by robbers or murderers – if the cops can punish you for protecting yourself in your own home, how do you hope to establish a right to do it when pestered by someone flying a drone?

Still, if there are no legal means to protect yourself from surveillance, intrusion, and harm that at least clarifies the situation somewhat, what? What?

a. The drone has to start from somewhere, and the programs that control a lot of their flight have provisions to return the thing to the point where it took off from. Whether this is done by memory or GPS I don’t know, but I have seen it in operation and I know it is not dependant upon a lot of light. The drone can pitch off and return in semi-darkness.

There are lights on the drones that are put there to aid the flyer orientate themselves – if they are turned on they can also help the drone-hunter to follow the aircraft back to base. In most cases this will be very close to the pilot flying it.

b. Attacking people is illegal. To do it legally you need to be a member of the Police Service or the armed forces in receipt of a legitimate order through the proper chain of command. Most people will not be in this situation.

Attacking drones is also illegal, but on a lower scale of offence. If you are going to baseball bat something, bat the drone. It’s still wrong, but it’ll play better in front of the magistrate.

c. Attacking the drone while it is in the air over your property is also probably illegal – ( Hell, everything is illegal in Australia ) – but particularly illegal if you discharge a firearm at it. Resist the temptation to loose off with the 12 gauge.

You may reflect, however, that ancient and medieval people shot fowls out of the air by various means long before gunpowder was invented. There are illustrations in textbooks of the methods which they adopted – and in many cases they were quite quiet affairs. I should avoid crossbows for legal reasons.

Side note: the Swiss or French police seem to be training birds of prey to attack drones to protect sensitive installations. They are, of course, free within their own countries to do as they see fit.

d. The drone flies on a radio signal from the controller. Interfere with this signal and the drone reverts to that return-to-base mode.

e. Drone flyers who use them to spy do so for a number of reasons, but the chief one is that they are smartarses. This character trait invariably means that they are also going to give themselves away by bragging locally or by posting their feats on the internet… Capitalise upon this flaw – make careful enquiries and keep diligent watch. You will eventually find them.

Smartarses also offend repeatedly – because it boosts their ego to bully and menace. If you’ve been pestered once, prepare for the next incursion in whatever way you feel best, knowing that your vigilance will be rewarded.

f. Drones do not fly forever. Their propellers break and their batteries lose capacity and their radio systems go out of tune. This will remove some of them from the scene quickly, and the cost of replacement will mean that they do not return. The expensive ones will require repair too, and here is where you enter the system. Make contact with the repair facility and pay for the names and addresses of their clients. Pay well – information is valuable.

 

The Drones – Part Three – The Right To Menace

I am good at menacing. I do it every time I can find an innocent person who is in no position to defend themselves. There are plenty of these about – they work in retail shops. If I have five cents in my pocket I can go and browbeat them, traduce them, and terrify them with threats of exposure on Travelguide, YouTube, and Choice magazine. Or I can buy five cents worth of sweets and bugger off.

Some days it is a close run decision.

The drone menace, on the other hand, is less clear-cut. It would appear to have several aspects:

a. The drones may fall upon people and injure them. Quite apart from the physical weight of the things – which can be considerable if they are larger commercial jobs – they have anything up to eight flailing propellers working at high speed like knives in an abattoir. It’s not just the dropping on people that is dangerous – swishing through the crowd sideways may be horrifyingly worse.

If this is an inadvertent thing – failure of control or bad flying – it is one thing, but what it if were deliberate? We’ve seen people drive into crowds with murder in their hearts before.

b. The drones may be modified to carry destructive payloads. They need not drop themselves into a crowd if they can be rigged to drop something else. You can make up your own list of frightfulness that might be precipitated on others.*

c. The drones may interfere with other aircraft in the air…or even on the ground if they are operated within airports. We’re told that there are automatic controls that prohibit this in signals sent by the manufacturers via internet to the drones. From China. Now there’s foolproof, if ever I’ve heard it.

d. The drones may interfere with essential public services like firefighting by flying where aerial tankers are in operation. This has apparently happened.

e. The drones may intrude into secret governmental and military areas. Again we are told that there are controls in place to stop this…here I am inclined to have more faith. I’ll bet the SAS would love to open up on a drone over Campbell Barracks, and perhaps they have already. We’ll never know.

f. Drones may be used to snoop and spy on commercial properties for commercial or governmental purposes. Someone has already suggested council surveillance of blocks in rural areas to spy on people erecting sheds without permission. It sounds just petty enough to be true.

g. Drones may be used to snoop and spy on private matters for private delectation and troublemaking. Leading to private defence and public nuisance. What price privacy and good order?

h. Drones might be used to disrupt and harass legitimate events – sporting venues, religious ceremonies, weddings, civic affairs. Political parties could be targeted by their rivals.

Some of these troubles may be fended off already by technical means. Others might be circumscribed by the law but the fact of the matter is that at the moment of the offence any obedience to law would still rest with the person running the drone…and they might be willing to do it at any risk. There are already enough people who commit offences in all other divisions of law despite clearer sanctions and a history of enforcement. The drone situation is still very much in the ” hold my beer ” stage.

*Naturally I exclude the Air Force and Army drones that drop Hellfire missiles and 30mm cannon shells on people. These are perfectly all right.