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” Wheels Down, Flaps Down, Hook Down “
The litany called out to the Landing Officer as a plane used to come in to land on a US aircraft carrier. He was waiting with the paddles as his observer watched the plane with binoculars. The observer called out the list to alert the LO early. If there was no time to correct a…
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Always Be A Gentleman
Because someone else will be suspected before you. A calm and elegant demeanour will give you time to get away. Of course there is always the business about morality and virtue and that sort of thing – pursue it if you wish. I’m sure it will do you no end of good. For myself, I…
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Brankiffle Tholanicus
Or not, in case it is forbidden by your people. Navigating the rocks and shoals of social interaction in an increasingly multi-cultural country is getting more difficult. We all want to steer clear of saying the wrong thing, but as the place crowds up with different cultures, any speech is hazardous. Take the case of…
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The Unanswered Message
The unanswered message is one of the most efficient methods of communication available. It enables one to dominate with no effort; at once devastating and excusable. No reply is a reply of no…but it’s deniable. You did not see the original message. You have been just inundated with work ( unlike the lazy enquirer). Etc,…
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The Thermal Holiday
A travel agency thrives if it sends people all over the world at their own expense, and then skims the take. It can do this quite legitimately, providing a bureaucratic service to ease the terrors of travel amongst strangers. Sometimes it needs to provide transport, food, amusement, shopping, sex, or refuge, and can charge accordingly.…
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The Isle Of Crapee
The spoonerism can be a heavy burden on a person. You can never tell when one of these verbal typos will slip out of your glottis…slitting it as it goes. Your reputation will never recover if it is a memorable one. Indeed a rude or funny one will take on a life of its own…
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The Lolly Rack
Looks like the natural rules of commercial behaviour extend over many jurisdictions…and do not vary all that much. I called at a large office-supply warehouse to purchase some thumb drives and took my place in the queue at the tills – right behind a mother and her two children. Could I guess it, they might…
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Darker Wool
You get it from black sheep. I have idly googled the Duke Of Wellington – the original Arthur Wellesley and his descendents. You may do so as readily as I, and will discover a series of military men, lords, and politicians that trace a direct line back to the original. He was very famous –…
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When A Politician Quits
It’s generally for a reason. The reason may not be the one that is presented in the press. Few seasoned politicians quit when they are going well, or are about to go well. They may go because of matters largely unrelated to their political life – health troubles do occur that make them unwilling, or…
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I Have Solved The Korean Problem
This should be worth a Nobel prize…or at least a railway car full of kimchi. Korea has always been troubled. Never mind just the 1950’s – it’s been a place where they were sad for centuries. Currently the dividing line in the middle means two different sorts of sadness, and it must be wearing on…
Here All Week
An entertainment from Dick Stein's Little Studio
Here All Week 