The Fat Of The Land

And the art of living off it.

The expression ” living off the fat of the land ” has been heard for centuries. It may have started as a cheerful hope but nearly always it is said as bitter criticism – of someone else. The idea can be a platform of envy from which to build a scaffold of resentment. If you would not like to hauled up to that scaffold there are a few things you can do:

a. Do not rob or steal, cheat or gouge. Nor embezzle, counterfeit, or loot. You’d be surprised how annoyed some people are with these activities and if they are magistrates their annoyance is measured in months and years. Honesty’s the best policy, and you can take one out without signing anything.

b. Prospering can be done legitimately – if you are skilled, astute, brave, or diligent. Also if you are lucky. When you find yourself in a condition of prosperity make sure that it is a private affair. Do not bruit it about – lest others resent you and make plans to reduce your good fortune.

c. If your prosperity is the result of other’s efforts, be grateful and speak well of them. This applies to your business employees or associates, your teachers, and your general trade or profession. Do not pretend to be a self-made person if you show the marks of other chisels.

Remember that some self-made people are assembled badly.

d. If your prosperity requires you to display wealth – as some sales and political careers may do – do so discreetly and with taste. Appearing for an interview with your mistress on the arm of your white fluffy beach robe…and then crying for the camera over your supposed hurts…undoes all the respect you may have garnered up to that point. After that you’re just a bogan in a beach robe.

e. If your prosperity causes you to burgeon, select garments that make the most of it…by making the least of it. The fat of the land need not be carried in a tight shirt over a skinny belt.

f. Nor in your head. Make fewer statements castigating others. The state of the economy is due to us all, and in your case you cannot rail against capitalism whilst reaping a yearly fortune from it. The phrase ” chardonnay socialist ” is not meant to be complimentary.