Dig Ye Not Deeper Nor Yet Faster Unto Destruction…

I believe it might have been Will Rogers who advised people who found themselves in a hole to stop digging. It is a most sublime thought.

If only I could remember it when I tell a joke that falls flat – or make some unfortunate floater at a party. If I could only realise it in time ( Or better yet – 30 seconds before I utter it …) I should be a happy man. As it is, there are occasions when I wish the floor would open up and swallow me. And I’m sure the people I’m with hope for that too. I shall mind my tongue when standing on a gallows trap.

Of course Will’s dictum also applies to all aspects of life – professional situations, love matters, financial affairs, etc. Even driving a four-wheel-drive truck in soft sand. You can get out but you can’t do it by getting in deeper.

One thing that you can do, besides reform your character and exercise sounder judgement in the future, is help the situation by spreading the hole – making it shallower. If you’ve said an unfortunate thing and your audience has burst into tears or rage, turn to someone close and say ” Well, I said it. Now pay me the $ 5.00 . ” If you’re fast you can use the smoke screen to escape.

Atttention To Details

It’s attention to details that makes the difference between success and disaster.

a. Did you remember to put the pin back in the hand grenade before you put it in your handbag? We’ll see in four seconds.

b. Spelling. ” Public ¬†Exposure ” is good advertising. Leave out one letter and you’re in the Magistrate’s Court in the morning.

c. Punctuation. Benny Hill used to get a laugh out of a sign that put a space between the “e” and the “r” in “therapist”. That was a long time and a lot of Benny ago. If a successor tried it now they would be crucified on social media and the networks.

d. You cannot leave film out of your camera anymore because you don’t use it. You can, however, leave a memory card out…and if you have been incautious enough to disable the warning klaxon and freeze mechanism, your digital camera will take an entire vacation on one internal frame.

The makers know what you’re like and have made the safety mechanism to prevent you from self-harm. If you are clever you circumvent it and harm yourself.

e. Tom Cruise once spoke a line in a movie that told us to ” Show me the money “. He might be an idiot, but thankfully just a small one…and the advice is still good. When the cryptocurrency crap hits your screen, have them show you the money – in government cash – in your hand, and then close your fist tight.

This will never happen, because it is crypto and if you try to see it, it is Schroedingers Cash…

f. Popular Culture is a good phrase Рit can be made to cover everything, like tomato sauce. Unpopular Culture is harder to sell., involving work and thinking. Popular Un-culture is similar to the first category and may, indeed, be indistinguishable from it. Unpopular Un-culture is basically free-to-air reality television in monochrome.

Think of a closed-circuit monitor in the hallway of a Russian tower-block apartment and you’ll get the idea. You could watch it but no-one ever does.