Self Axtualisation For Lumberjacks

Are you self-actualised? Are you authentic? Do you have any idea what I’m saying here?

If you do, please write back because I have no idea myself.

The self-actualisation movement seems to be concerned with two things:

  1. Pre-conceiving the paradigmical existentialism of cultural shift-zeit as is pertains to the greater world-mind.
  2. Getting you to pay $ 39.95 to the author.

I have managed the first part but am struggling with the second. It is to this end I address my readers – please send $ 39.95 so that I can tell the other writers to go and self actualise themselves sideways.

I’m not against new philosophy as such. OrĀ per se. Or evenĀ ipso facto. Some of my facts are as ipso as you could want, and that’s before you peel them. But I am running out of patience with the associate professors of midwestern cardboard colleges who try to sell books of modern wisdom when there isn’t all that much of it between the covers. I can do big words and small thoughts myself here at home for free.

At one time I was not concerned with self-actualisation at all. I concentrated on food, drink, girls, and passing my university courses so that I could go out and gather money. I would have been happy with self-possibility, probability, or culpability. If I had been asked whether I was actual, I could only have proved it by kicking the questioner. I’m sorry now that I didn’t take the opportunity while my legs were good.

As for actualising myself now, I’m happy to do it if there is a seniors discount, or if I can do it after my nap. And none of that getting up at 4:30 in the morning with the full bladder – that kind of actuality is for the birds.