Bust Out Laughing

It is the secret of defusing a terrible situation. For instance…

a. You go to a clothing store with your small daughter – you tell her to wait quietly while you go into the changing booth to try on a new pair of trousers. When you have your old pair of daks off and are just about to pull the new ones on, the flimsy rail holding the curtain across the door of the booth falls down and there you are in your jocks for the entire shop – including the small child – to see.

Remedy? Bust out laughing.

The other saving grace is that eventually the small child will stop telling people of the incident. It’s been about 35 years so far and I am hoping that the forgetfulness will start to set in sometime soon.

b. A random stranger gets out of a car in front of you as you are waiting at the lights and accuses you of giving his girlfriend a heart attack.

Remedy? Bust out laughing.

When the light turns wheel around his car and turn the corner still laughing.

c. A customer in the camera store acts like a Very Important Person for a Very Long Time. And when it comes to pay for his purchase, he demands a discount because he is a Jewish Dentist. A Lithuanian Jewish Dentist.

Remedy? Bust out laughing.

The owner of the store is standing ten feet away, and he, like myself, is Jewish…he is a patient in my dental surgery for many years in the past…To his credit, he gives a stifled squeak and runs upstairs to his office holding his face. To my credit I do not give way and the litvak pays shop price.

d. We all eat potatoes and garlic and cabbage and beans and tacos sometimes. The wise amongst us do not eat them all at the same meal, because there is only so much a gas valve can stand. When the inevitable happens…

Bust out laughing.

And move upwind.


She’ll Be Right, Mate.

Lying on your back in a hospital bed…as opposed to sitting upright and lieing unashamedly…makes for a good opportunity to review the basics of life. I have been promised that I can go home tomorrow and that it will be as a walking case. Limping, is rather a more accurate adjective, but at this stage of the game I am not going to quibble over words.

Two legs. One sore but working, one comfortable and working. All will get better and eventually I shall be walking to the bus stop again, working in my Little Workshop, and driving my Little Car. I am delighted with the prospect.

Like General Douglas Macarthur said after surviving a Moro attack as a young lieutenant: ” Anything I got after that was velvet. “. I will henceforth never have to walk. I’ll get to walk…

Hold Me Close – Stab Me Deep

I am somewhat amused to see that Bette Midler and Donald Trump do not like each, though I am not surprised by it. Even if they shared the same political affiliations – which I take it they do not – there would still be ample cause for them to be at each other’s throats – the chief of which is they are both overbearing…and do not appreciate it when they cannot dominate each other. As it is, they both have a very good thing going in their animosity – it assures them of a place in the news sheets and the social tweets. And they both want to be in all the news all the time.

This closeness that they do not admit sharing is also seen in many other arts and crafts – dancing has it, painting has it, sculpture has it…as does any other art you care to name. I can find you collectors of model cars who would stab each other with a 1:43 scale Morris sedan if they could get away with it. Rivalry, angst, bitchiness, treachery, and deceit can be found everywhere.

It can be petty, like the person who falls upon spelling or grammar errors to score points. It can be serious, like the glaring matches that break out at amateur dramatics between sets of parents. It can be useful…though frequently useful only in starting an even bigger fight. And sometimes it can be profitable.  Send me $ 15 in used notes and I’ll tell you how…

I used to be horrified when a friend betrayed me. Then I discovered that after the world had come crashing down around my ears it could be set back upright – and frequently looking a bit better – within days. And the terrible act was somewhat of an inoculation – no-one could ever do exactly the same thing again. Oh there would be new betrayals to conquer, but that particular one was a dead issue. One less person and/or circumstance to worry over.

Is this to be taken as an encouragement to be horrible to others? No, you should still be as kind as you can to everyone. But it does put a lot of the things we see into perspective, and if it helps us to genuinely shrug off a hurt, it is valuable.