Talk To The Eyebrow

We’ve been through the ” talk to the hand” thing…it’s old and stale. And it is not really the sort of meme that encourages more discussion. It stops debate in its tracks.

I want ” talk to the eyebrow ” now. It will allow the challenged to continue the conversation – albeit under a withering machine-gun fire of skepticism. After all, the person with the eyebrow may be wrong and the target of the eyebrow may be right. If they can justify their position, the tables in the debate may turn. At least that’s the theory.

The eyebrow is potentially as rude as the index finger, but you can’t really fix upon it as a vile gesture. It silently scorns and demands proof of whatever is being asserted. It’s one of the most economical muscle movements that you can do.

And all the person has to do is raise the other brow at the same time to create and entirely new context. Amazement is taken by some as endorsement, while not really being so. You can play on others’ feeling and fears just by hoisting the hairline a smidgeon. And then there are the muscularly talented who can bounce them up and down at will, like the tappets on a V-8 engine…

You don’t believe me?

Oh? Really?   óò

Make-Your-Own-Meme Kit For Sale – Hardly Used

I am putting my Paul Hamlyn Make-Your-Own-Meme Kit up for sale on Gumtree next week. I purchased it when the social media craze started with the intention of changing the world. As it is now I am not sure I could change my underwear with it.

Oh, the kit is all there, and the memes have hardly been use. Many of them are wrapped in their original prejudices. The right buyer could have hours of fun with it. I had minutes…

It may have been my failure to research my market. Most of my Facebook friends hate Donald Trump so the patriotic memes supporting his campaign never did well. The Clinton ones fared a little better until the would-be Facebook Democrats realised that she couldn’t get elected for dog catcher, and then they all went silent. I would have put out Bernie Sanders memes but here in Perth we used to have a hamburger joint called Bernie’s and everything I wrote just seems to have the odour of fried onions and ketchup.

The feel-good inspirational ones were actually a lot of fun to write – though to be honest most of the ones I posted were taken out of pamphlets that people on street corners hand out. I always take a pamphlet, as I feel sorry for them.  Mind you, when they get enough money together to buy a computer and start to bombard me with the same crap in emails I could cheerfully strangle them.

I have tried to get our cat to be amusing. Or dour. Or anything. I am fairly well convinced that he does not have a mind, so there’s not a lot of theatrical value to be got. Mind you, I am pretty sure he would have voted for Clinton, because he does like the smell of fish.

The memes I wrote that seem to have done the best, if the writs are anything to judge by, are the ones encouraging class warfare, race hatred, and social anarchy. I’ve ensured myself against legal repercussions by putting a smiling emoji in the vilest ones and then writing ” Just sayin’ ” and ” Geddit ” at the end. Plus I have registered this computer as belonging to the Dalai Lama if anyone comes looking.

So the meme kit is up for sale. I will also consider trading it for a well-made picketers’ sign and a box of crayons. No sense dropping the Democrat college market entirely. Something may turn up.