Opposite Poles

Note: never express an opinion in opposition to a Pole. They are the most stubborn people on the planet, with the possible exception of the South Africans. I would pay to see an argument-off between residents of Warsaw and Pretoria about who is right, but I wouldn’t pay much…

No, what I mean is the opposite poles of discipline. The Buddhists discipline themselves – the fascists discipline everybody else. There must be a middle point between the two extremes that achieves a happy medium… though after the excesses of the 60’s I am leery of mediums. let’s just say I would like to be able to control myself and others without the need for leather straps.

The key to it all is the ability to see the other person’s point of view. The fact that this may be biased, violent, and noxious is a little bit of a barrier, but as long as it doesn’t involve skinning people and curing their hides with a Liedreiter’s kit we can get through it. I do baulk at becoming a council librarian or the Prime Minister Of Canada but I can manage most other roles.

You may say that I must be kind and gentle in all my interactions with people. And honest. And forgiving. In fact, you may say anything at all. I’ll be over here with the rifle and the binoculars and if you’re quiet you can urge me to reform and to become a good person all you want. Just don’t spook the game. Watch out for hot brass when I get busy.

Don’t be sad about this – there are times when I am very gentle and tender toward those less fortunate than myself…particularly after I have transferred their fortune to my wallet. That is what train robbing and Australian banking is all about. Never mind riding horses up to the baggage car or foreclosing on orphans – as long as the money flow is one-way and I get to specify which direction, I am as a cheerful and accommodating as anyone.


I Told You/Me So

Now that the Australian federal election for both houses of parliament is finished and the results are in, I wish to gloat/commiserate with all my readers.

The result is exactly as I wanted/ feared and I hope you are all satisfied/devastated. We are in for another three years of heaven/hell. The success of the candidate in my own electorate has put me over the moon/in deepest depression and I am sure the party is too. At no time did we hope/doubt/predict/scoff at/suspect/pay for/deny /strut/shrink from this result. Time will tell whether we are headed for a glorious future/sad fate. We have already received congratulations/condolences from the British Prime Minister/ Leader of the Opposition.

These have been enshrined/discarded.

Now we must move forward/shrink back in triumph/loathing from the pathway of righteousness/expedience and assure/deny our descendants/ ancestors their rightful/wrongful place in history. Much/little will depend upon how we lift the spirits/crush the soul of our fellow workers. No effort must be spared to integrate/divorce them from the workplace/prison. And we must not forget migrants/interlopers who contribute/steal from our economy. They must be uplifted/ rooted out and welcomed/ejected. To this end, I have given orders for a reception centre/wall to be constructed and counsellors/guards posted for the first sight of the boats. We have laid in a adequate stock of welcome wagon baskets/harpoon missiles to deal with them.

Please join hands and sing the national anthem: Advance Australia Fair/ Nobody Knows De Trouble I’se Seen.