I Blame The….

a. Police…when people who are committing crimes are chased and caught and jailed and made to be unhappy. This is not right. A criminal has a constitutional right to do crime…based upon their ethnicity and their desire to do crime. The police want to punish this and it’s an outrage.

b. Police…when people are injured or die evading them after committing crimes. A person who does crimes is supposed to escape from the police because I have seen it on the telly and in the movies. If they do not succeed it is a basic assault on human rights.

c. White people. Because it has proved to be an effective way to get publicity and eventually get paid for it. And it would be wrong to prevent a successful business from flourishing.

d. Society. In case there are successful people with money that can be accessed who are not white. They are guilty too…of being successful.

e. Pauline Hanson. Because everyone hates her and if I blame her I look virtuous.

f. Pauline Hanson’s former partners and party members. Hard to tell who’s being nasty to whom, but I figure that when you see a head you kick it.

g. Donald Trump. I get kewl points for this and Trump is so far away that I never get pulled up for it. I tried blaming Hilary but I got an email with a picture of a horse’s head in my bed. So I just blame Trump for everything…I’m no fool.

h. Vaccines. And when that doesn’t work I blame non-vacc people. The effect is the same – I get publicity.

i. Schools. Well, we all hated school, didn’t we, and we made sure that our kids knew that it was the right way to be…the hating, I mean. So now when they screw up royally, it’s all the school’s fault. Stands to reason, eh?

j. The flag and the anthem. Well, it worked for Kaepernick, didn’t it? I might get a lucrative shoe contract if my kid won’t stand up at school assembly. Worth a try, innit?



Are You Guilty?

guiltWell, of course you are. You’re reading this on a computer, mobile phone, or tablet and that automatically makes you guilty in someone’s eyes. If you are of a mild and penitent character, you’ll mourn that you cannot atone for your sins. If you are of a more robust nature you’ll also mourn…that you cannot get your thumbs into those accusing eyes.

Guilt is a wonderful thing. It has enabled parents and grandparents to punish their offspring for literally centuries. If it is used well it enables those same offspring to punish the parents and grandparents. Skilful guilt operators can use it to tarbrush entire populations, just as their opposite numbers can use it to whitewash in the same way. I sometimes wonder if it is the same brush – and I am curious as to what they use to clean it between coats. I have a devil of a time getting common enamel paint out of hog bristle brushes as it is.

Is there collective guilt? You bet there is, and there are collectors in all divisions who have amassed magnificent examples. No matter who you are or where you come from – they can find something to shame you with. If not you precisely…not you the individual registered citizen with a number, password, police history, dossier, and soul…then you as a person with a certain complexion or set of gonads. You may not think that you are guilty of anything much at all, but when it comes to having moral and political contumely hung on you, you might as well be made of velcro. They gonna make something stick.

Is there individual guilt?  Well, yes, of course. You are guilty of it right now. In fact, you’re soaking in it. You know what you did…

Can we have international guilt-packages that allow us to feel bad while on holiday overseas? Yes, and these are very popular these days. Wherever you go there was someone who has gone there before you and done something objectionable. The locals have a record of it and are waiting for you to step off the Boeing to tax you with it. And we do mean tax – the only way you are going to get back onto the plane is to pay the locals. You must not complain or you will not be allowed to get back on until many Boeings have come and gone. You wanted to see how the world works and this is how…

Can you stop being guilty? Well, in the case of the overseas guilt, it generally stops when the cabin crew arm the doors and cross-check. You get to pick up a fresh lot of angst from the baggage carousel at your next port of call. For domestic political/economic/social guilt it only stops when your accuser gets either tired of the internet, finally gets their paper published, or is appointed to a board.