Opposite Poles

Note: never express an opinion in opposition to a Pole. They are the most stubborn people on the planet, with the possible exception of the South Africans. I would pay to see an argument-off between residents of Warsaw and Pretoria about who is right, but I wouldn’t pay much…

No, what I mean is the opposite poles of discipline. The Buddhists discipline themselves – the fascists discipline everybody else. There must be a middle point between the two extremes that achieves a happy medium… though after the excesses of the 60’s I am leery of mediums. let’s just say I would like to be able to control myself and others without the need for leather straps.

The key to it all is the ability to see the other person’s point of view. The fact that this may be biased, violent, and noxious is a little bit of a barrier, but as long as it doesn’t involve skinning people and curing their hides with a Liedreiter’s kit we can get through it. I do baulk at becoming a council librarian or the Prime Minister Of Canada but I can manage most other roles.

You may say that I must be kind and gentle in all my interactions with people. And honest. And forgiving. In fact, you may say anything at all. I’ll be over here with the rifle and the binoculars and if you’re quiet you can urge me to reform and to become a good person all you want. Just don’t spook the game. Watch out for hot brass when I get busy.

Don’t be sad about this – there are times when I am very gentle and tender toward those less fortunate than myself…particularly after I have transferred their fortune to my wallet. That is what train robbing and Australian banking is all about. Never mind riding horses up to the baggage car or foreclosing on orphans – as long as the money flow is one-way and I get to specify which direction, I am as a cheerful and accommodating as anyone.


” You Wait Till I Get You Home “

We can all remember that one, can’t we? Either we said it or heard it.

It was a tense little sentence.

At the time I never realised what fun it could have turned into. All one would have needed was for the child to say:

” Are you going to take your belt off and beat me with it again? ” in the presence of strangers. And then cringe away.

I daresay there would have been consequences, but a new wariness on the part of the parent over the business of psychological terror out in public.

Disciplining The Servants

I note from a recent news item that the Commonwealth Government will be monitoring the social media links from people employed as public servants and disciplining those who are critical thereon. I am not surprised at this –  I don’t think that it would be confined to the current party in power, nor to just to federal government – I should imagine similar measures are in place for state public servants as well as local council employees. I certainly know it to be a policy in private industry.

It is in no way different from the rule of any government – whether that be the laxest dictatorship or the sternest democracy. It is simply in reaction to the old fear that grips the lord when he suspects that the servants know his secrets, and have taken an accurate measure of him. He knows they have seen him naked, and fears the laughter of others.

The discipline is simple – in the case of the despot he merely tortures the culprit to death and murders the rest of the family. The federal government demotes, fines, and fires the incautious servant and then murders the rest of the family. Replacing them when others have seen their fate sometimes takes a little longer, unless the public servant secretly harbours the desire to get rid of their family…

It’s a bit hard on the Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram friends of a public servant in that they do not want to inadvertently start the whole savage sequence off. Mind you, subscribers to slag-off.com and the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia’s Dob-In-A-Pollie service are exempt from federal law so they can leap in there with both boots. Indeed, they are also exempt from many of the laws of thermodynamics, so feel free to ignite something today.

For my own part, I always think well of a politician. Really I do. They sacrifice their entire lives – their honour, their integrity, their sense of humour…their immortal souls – to draw the daemon of possessing excessive money away from the rest of us and to keep us safe from complacency. I’d award them a medal, but, like many things, I doubt that the little people of Australia would be given a chance to stick it on them.

All Is In Order!

brass-crossThe Backstabbers Guild of Australia prides itself upon the accuracy and correctness of the articles that are published under its aegis. We never tolerate spelinge errors, and therefore we are never under the eye of the Grammarian Stormtroopers. Others are not so lucky nor so precise; they feel the lash and fury of correction. A single Grammarian Stormtrooper has been known to decimate 4 columns of entrenched English…

To recognise the correct and hygienic efforts of the GS we are issuing the Brass Cross. It will be pinned to the breast of the GS…or at least to the severe grey tunic covering that breast…in front of the assembled regiment. There will be order, or there will be consequences!

Old-comrade meetings of grammarian Stormtroopers in the future will be jolly. This has been entered into standing orders. After the jolly time is finished the celebrants will return to their barracks.