The Untouchable List – Part Three – One From Column A and One From Column B…

If you are going to make up a menu of displeasure for yourself you need to actually understand what it is that makes you happy/unhappy. If you make that list unbeknownst to others you have a better chance of making an honest one – you are not trying to impress the crowd. If you are strong-minded you will not try to impress yourself.

Is there an underlying theme to your aversions? There are a number of classic ones:

a. Disgust. You might have had a childhood experience that has left you with a horror of something. It could be as simple as illness, saliva, regurgitation, noise, etc. Others may not notice it at all – if it is real to you, however, it is real and you are wise to honestly admit it to yourself.

b. Disdain. You might have experienced it from both sides – given or received. Contempt is one of the most powerful distresses one can experience and one that lasts the longest. It can engender the most inveterate hate.

c. Fear. Mostly physical, as in the fear that has been associated with bullying. Sometimes psychological, as in the fear of rejection or betrayal. It also drives a hatred that can last a long time. In some cases it also drives a desire for revenge.

d. Loss. Have you been robbed? Cheated? Underpaid? Swindled? ¬†You’d be a fortunate person who never had any of this happen to you. Most people can recall monetary loss and it is something that can generally be sheeted home accurately. Many times it is irrecoverable.

Note that in all these there is no mention specifically of jealousy – you might have thought of it yourself, but then jealousy is so often an incomplete emotion – we never know the sorrows of the person whose joys we envy. Were we required to shoulder their burdens as well as share their rewards, they might never make it to any list at all.

Note as well that there is no mention of politics or religion. You can hate someone’s choice or avowal as much as you like, but it is rarely a thing for a personal list. Disapproval can safely be left to journalists and other commentators, and the consequences of anyone’s choices are generally on their own heads. Just stand clear and wipe your clothing down with a damp cloth…

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