I sometimes have difficulty attracting models for photo shoots. I will think up an idea involving model snow plows and Ziegfeld Follies girls and no-one wants to participate. The one with the industrial PCB’s in a swimming pool was also poorly attended. But any time you mention vampires…you are in danger of being knocked over in the rush.
I find this odd as the people who are keenest to participate would generally quail at the sight of an underdone steak. They faint whenever they see the sight of a needle at the movies and even a minor cut brings them out in hysterics. Yet give them a chance to be coated in fake blood and sharp teeth and they are all for it.
Perhaps it is the corsets. Inside or out, a corset is a pretty wonderful garment. It suggests sex, even when it is actually the equivalent of the waterline armour belt on a heavy cruiser. More time is spent getting out of it than getting in, and that means spur of the hour…One false move with a corset and the fastenings will rip your fingernails off.
Perhaps it is the neck biting. We all have bitten a neck at some stage of the game – mostly just to see what happens. A hickey is all very well but I suspect we would be a little nonplussed if the first chomp produced a pulsing stream of arterial blood. Particularly if that was in the back row of the movies. Perhaps more thought should be given to this before the popcorn gets red and soggy.
It might be the immortality thing, though when you consider the fact that driving, popular music, and teenage manners get more annoying with each decade, do you really want to experience it in a hundred years? And sleeping in a coffin filled with the earth of your country is all very well, but if you are from Meekatharra or New Mexico it is mostly gravel and how comfortable could that be.
I have been lead to believe that vampires fly. So do tourists from Singapore. Big deal…flying. Do vampires get a chance at the Duty-Free? I think not.
As far as the other forms of romance associated with vampirism; blood-sucking, sparkling, screeching, incredible strength, and capes – these are also attributes of your average Marvel or DC super hero. You can get to do all the cool stuff without having to go out into graveyards full of freezing mist and leeches. And you get to wear your underwear on the outside without getting arrested.
Nevertheless. here are three favourite vampires – Richelle, Leanne, and Ngaire. No good trying to ask them out on dates – they are all three married….to thin, pale fellows who faint a lot. I think it’s the corsets…