This is not a Horace Greely tale written to raise you from the depths of degradation to the height of grandeur. My readers do not need this, as they are, all of them, grand and formidable. If you don’t believe me, go look in the mirror.
Before you go, look up savagery and barbarism in the dictionary. There are tell-tale signs of both that can also be easily descried. No need to do the entire course of improvement if you are barbarous already. Tattoos and throwing axes are a pretty good indication that you’re in the upper quadrant – burnt sticks and cannibalism are near the bottom. Just above participating in Boxing Day Sales.
No good looking at popular culture for much of this as they have edited out the idea of savages or barbarians as unsuitable for a virtuous public to view. You need to go back in time – if you need a quick reference we can recommend the Osprey series of extremely-expensive-hobbyist-booklets for a biased and unsustainable look at history. Do not adhere too closely to the coloured illustrations, unless you are short and squat, and then feel free to follow Angus McBride’s lead.
What should you do as a savage – what as a barbarian? Well, while you are restricted to sacking Rome or Paris as the latter, the former can pillage anyone. Of course, being a savage, you can make no use of the booty, but that is no barrier to you enjoying a bit of slaughter or torture. I mean, what’s a holiday for if you can’t have fun.