Philosophy Corner

Snuggle up, children. Uncle Dick is going to tell you a story. A true one.

What do you do when someone treats you with contempt? When someone cheats you or robs you? Does anyone know?

Yes, Antonio? You stab them with a stiletto? Good answer – I think the family will be proud of you one day.

And your answer, Gwendoline? You pine away and die of a broken heart? On the moor in the mist? Also a good answer, and I should get it to Mills & Boone right away.

But the Guild answer is much better, children. Because when you do what the BGA advises you do not run the risk of jail or the graveyard. And what is that answer?

The answer is you do nothing. Nothing at all. You do not tell anyone of your pains, you do not cry to authority, you do not ask Heaven to smite anything. You do not react in any visible fashion…but you steal away silently clutching your prize. And you don’t let people see your prize for quite some time.

I see confusion on your little faces. Consternation. Distress. Ahh, that’s adorable. You’re just writhing in pain to make me feel good, aren’t you? Well here are the Guild Secrets about doing nothing:

a. When you do nothing you encourage the evil-doer to do it again. As long as you remove yourself from any possibility that it will be to you, you lay the foundation for their ruin. If they can steal candy from a baby, they will be emboldened to try the same with a major confectioner. Then the accountants and the law step in and deal with the matter. if they try to steal candy from a Sicilian they get an entirely different form of response. Ask Antonio…

b. When they treat you badly they give you the greatest gift anyone can have – freedom. You are free from any further care bout them – forever. If they become Pope or are burnt at the stake, it is all the same. Anything that they experience is of no interest to you…so they become ghosts and then just vanish. You are free to be happy with no thought of them.

c. People will think you are a saintly soul. Play that as you like.

d. It is a lesson to you not to be the same way. If you avoid injuring people you may actually gain tranquillity. Your example may encourage others to be kindly.

Stop crying, Antonio. I didn’t mean you.

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