I have been told by a Facebook meme that I am part of the problem. This is unsatisfactory.
I want to be the entire problem.
If we are always encouraged by popular songs to be the one and only – if we are to be the whole world to someone – why can’t we be completely horrible? It would make life a lot simpler for both sides.
As a grown-up, the opportunities to be a bully are few. We have to be married to do it in the house or an employer to do it at work. Very few of us are Sergeants Major. Often the worst we can achieve is the status of ” pest ” at a cocktail party and if we don’t get asked back, it becomes a one-off performance.
What we need is an organised agency to match up villains and victims. To make sure that there is someone to on either end of the shitty stick. To this end the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia will open the Agence Merde in the new financial year. For a small fee a person can enter their name for vile treatment – for a larger one they can find out where the first person is and go deliver it.
If we cannot make people happy by making people sad, what are we here for, eh?