Better than what is the question…
a. I no longer need training wheels on the toilet.
b. Beggars do not press pennies into my hand on the street.
c. They have not named a sewage farm after me.
d. I no longer need to aim off when hunting passers-by.
e. I can be trusted to sing Christmas carols in front of children.
f. They do not slam the delivery hatch down at KFC when I place my order.
g. I have not had to shave the soles of my feet for ages. And there no sirens in the street.
If things improve at this rate in the new year I expect to be able to give up chewing tobacco.