Belt, Braces, and Sandals

I caused a little hilarity in my social club by turning up for one Men’s Shed session wearing a pair of blue cargo shorts held up by a belt and braces. I was wearing sandals at the time.

The time, I hasten to add was early morning, and the temperature outside had already climbed to 34 degrees Celsius. the shorts and sandals were a mechanism to cope with the projected 40 degree day.

The belt and braces were to cope with the fact that I have no waist, and every pair of pants I put on heads south as soon as I move. I’ve tried holding onto the trousers from the inside but people give me funny looks. I need additional support to remain decent.

Fortunately at my age decency is easy to achieve – you just go out clothed and quiet and remain so for the bulk of the day. Your mind is free to wallow in whatever morass it can find as long as you adjust your clothing after visiting the restroom.

You are allowed a hat or cap against the sun’s rays and can wear it with the brim turned to the front. You can wear a long-sleeved shirt without the name of a sports team or shoe maker on it. You can wear leather shoes without pointed toes.

And in my case, when it comes on to autumn weather, I am going to wear socks with those sandals. Just watch me.

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