Brain Solvent

The readers who are members of the WCTU can stop reading now. Nothing of this post will make them happy.

The rest of us who are sitting in the shade on a hot day with nowhere to go and good deal of time free to get there…we’ve not gone away for Christmas, nor shopping for Boxing Day…will be free to raise a glass at the appropriate hour. In my case it will be after 4:00 PM since I need to make a small motor journey before then, and will not do it under any influence at all.

The house, this year, has an embarrassing superfluidity of brain solvents. People have donated, and I have purchased, enough alcohol to clean and lubricate an eight-inch howitzer. If this were a season that would support a large gathering it could all flow out in an evening. We are in a nervous time because of a viral outbreak, so the large party is not on. Thus the supplies will suffice for quite some time.

I would normally look askance at gift liquor – it can so frequently be the undrinkable passed on like a poisonous parcel at a birthday party. I know I can look at the back recesses of the liquor cabinet here and see dregs that have accumulated from many years. I may kondo them down the sink, now that there are fresh supplies. You’ll all have experienced the same when gift bottles of Moravian reindeer-flavoured brandy have been given to you by folk-dancers. You smile, thank them, and put it all away for a special event. Like the annual poisoning of the local lake.

I did once contemplate mixing the dregs into a large glass carboy and label it ” Oh Anything ” for those people who respond with that line when you ask them what sort of drink they would like. It is still a temptation, but there is the danger that I would be detected. Also the horrid thought that it might be very good and people would want more…

Will the booze last the holidays? Yes, if I am careful. I need less of it these days to feel merry and the bottles stretch longer. A good thing as the prices have climbed alarmingly. Let’s just say that I get the same joy for the same price, but more days of it.

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