Sweat Charity

The name of a musical comedy with Arnold Schwartzenegger. It is set in a sauna.

There are all sorts of charity that you need to know about. In centuries past you would be told about them by your religious guide – these days your accountant is the person to talk to. Here’s a list of some of the good ones:

a. Commercial charity.

This is when your firm sponsors something charitable in return for advertising. It is a little like auctions in newspapers for crippled birds – the newspaper gets readers, your firm offloads unsaleable goods, and gets advertising credit in the paper. Presumably the birds then get little crutches.

b. Televised charity.

A more modern and faster-paced form of commercial charity that allows you to appear on camera and in social media. Get your suit pressed.

c. Virtuous charity.

When your firm gives to people in need without asking anything in return. Stop scoffing. It has happened in the past, and if you don’t believe me, read Dickens.

d. Virtual Charity.

When your firm does good by forbearing to raise the prices of its goods above a certain percentage. This causes less harm than would otherwise be the case.

e. Internal Charity.

When there is spare money lying around the shop and you go and pick it up.

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