” For King And Country “

Marvellous phrase, and good advertising. Sounded so much better than ” For entitled families and the Manchester Board Of Trade “.

And it worked. The King and Country trick managed to kill 1, 341, 858 British people in the 20th century, while still sparing most of the entitled families and the Board of Trade.

In other countries many more millions of people were marched off to destruction for democracy, the Kaiser, the Fuhrer, the Tsar, the Emperor, and a number of smaller kings and queens. All of which was duly promoted by the copy writers of the various national advertising agencies. Talk about blood on the typewriter keys…

I propose – as an inflammatory essayist – to demand a memorial to our power and malice. It should be erected at public expense on sacred land somewhere and served by a dedicated order of quasi-religious servants. I would not be adverse to a small ziggurat with a cabinet containing a selection of sharp knives at the top. Tourists would be rewarded with a very Instagram moment at the summer solstice, though the ones at the front of the viewing area should wear clothing that can be washed.

Should you disagree with this writer in any way, I have a starring role for you next midsummer…

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