How Dare These Mexicans…

Foist their culture upon us. Don’t they know this is Australia?

Everywhere you go they are putting up these taco parlours and trying to make us eat beans and rice. And the number of times that they push tequila on us….it’s enough to make you lick and sip.

Now they’re telling us that enchiladas and burritos and fajitas are better than boiled vegetables and mutton…the proper food that subjects of the British Empire have eaten since time began. And they want us to eat avocados and tomatoes and chocolate. We’re British…or at least colonial British…or at least scum of Europe migrants…and we don’t need food that is tasty or spicy or nutritious. We have boiled vegetables.

Now they’re trying to make us dress up and celebrate a day of the dead. Just cultural invasion, that is. We have our own dead here and we want to forget them entirely once they are planted – we don’t want to remember them. Unless they were convicts and we can go up the social ladder because of it.

I say we take these Mexicans and send them back to where they came from; Los Angeles. Failing that, a wall around Gosnells should do it – we’ll stay on the inside with the sheep and the Union Jack.

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