There’s Still Time To Tell Me Off

I mean, before I do the next thing that you are offended by.

Get the current one out of the way so that we can scrub the sink clean and be prepared. It’ll make your next outrage so much purer and cleaner. And purity and cleanliness is always good for the image.

I realise that it’s getting harder to attract attention raging out with an outrage these days – the world seems to have so many guilty parties that you hardly know which one to go to on a Saturday night. So it’s best to be publicly virtuous one vice at a time. I don’t mind waiting until you are finished.

I also realise that rewards for godliness are somewhat diminished, now that so few people actually believe in one. I appreciate your effort to be seen in a divine light, and would do all I could to keep the thing glowing; hence my sinful behaviour that you can disapprove of. I wouldn’t be bad if it wasn’t for you. And I truly mean that.

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