I Am Going To Be Taken Over By A Global Conglomerate

I’ve started greasing up in preparation.

The dream of being bought out by a billion dollar company has sustained many a small operator. Sadly, the closest that some come to it is being run out of business or tied to a rail and thrown out of town by one. Actually, with some businesses that is a pretty good deal.

I have only failed in business once, and was fortunate afterwards not to be employed as a business consultant by people who thought I knew what I was doing. I employed the strategy of selling off the business before I went entirely broke and found someone to employ me in a humble position that paid basic wages.

As these wages were a darn sight more than I was making with the failing business, I considered that I had improved my life. Eventual retirement sealed the goodness in and now I am free every day to plan world domination though in my case I shall make sure someone else has to do the actual work.

Business takeovers are the bane of many fields – not least the IT and techno-publishing world. I’ve just read the latest news from WordPress about takeovers and I’m relieved to say that, if pressed, I don’t understand a word of it. Unknown companies are buying up other unknown firms that produce invisible products for unknowable purposes. They pay in shares, stock, bonds, promises, lies, cryptocurrency, and used tram tickets. I privately wonder whether any of them actually have any money at all that hasn’t been printed by Fisher-Price.

Actually I would like to take over the business of one of my American cousins, if only to fire him. Not a business dismissal…out of a howitzer out over the Pacific Ocean.

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