They’re Still Here…

In a spare 5 minutes I supplied Google with a silly phrase and waited to see what nonsense would come back as an echo. The phrase was ” cooking Missionaries “. I was expecting a flood of cartoons involving natives, pith helmets, and big round iron pots.

What I got was serious recipes that you could make if you were a missionary in a foreign land and couldn’t get the ingredients that you were used to using. Or recipes that missionaries wished people would make for them when they were out employing their zeal.

It would appear that the business of going elsewhere and pestering the locals is not dead – whether you do it with a Bible or a gunboat is the choice of the moment, but apparently you need to make sure that you have adequate supplies of Cheez Whiz when you land.

Note: At present no-one has raised an issue with Kraft for using the word Cheez or Whiz, compelling them to apologise for history and for being Kraft. Nor have they demanded compensation. I shall watch the papers daily for the start of the entertainment.

But back to the missionary position. Apparently they are still being sent out by religious organisations with a brief to persuade native peoples to join their various religions. Not just one church sends them, but many. Indeed they transcend national or denomination boundaries. I cannot say whether the various enthusiasts are trying to save lost souls or just killing time.

It would also appear that they are not as well received as one might wish. Occasionally they are shot or bludgeoned, and that’s by their parents before they are sent out. Do the folks know something we don’t?

There is little report of whether the subjects of the missions are better or worse for the ministrations. The potentially faithful seem to start out being a fairly savage lot. Reports of their later actions after they have been converted and taken up government of their own lands suggests that they are also savage, but with suits on. Perhaps they need a different set of missionaries or a new position.

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