I Have Become The King

a. I eat what I wish to eat. The fact that I have to cook it beforehand is irrelevant.

b. I do not handle money. All my transactions seem to be on the card and the money transfer is done on the internet. There’s like $ 5.50 in my pocket and that level hasn’t changed in a week.

c. The servants whisper about the place. To be honest, I am getting deafer, and they are possibly speaking in normal tones. The fire sirens are also whispering…

d. I use the royal ” we “. Well, not actually, but I do go for a wee a lot more than I used to.

e. People salute me. Sort of. In some cases it looks like they are waving me off like a pesky fly, but I like to think of it as saluting.

f. I wear a crown. it is made of wool and mighty comfortable in cold weather.

g. I am frequently not amused. Not when watching television programs, at any rate.

h. I am ready, day or night, to authorise state executions for the good of the realm. You have been warned.

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