The BGA Society For Suppression Of Virtue

If Anthony Comstock could do so well for himself by suppressing vice, we should be able to succeed as well. All we have to do is put the tiller over and the ship should take another tack. Mind the boom as it goes over your head.

If all of this goes over your head, you’re just the person we are looking for.

The Guild has been observing with alarm the rise in the level of virtue amongst the population. Citizens have been prevented from frequenting taverns and other low amusements by the recent flurry of virus-related scares. Brothels and gambling joints have been desperate for customers. Even the young – hotheads to a person – have been kept from the hotbeds of vice by state government lockdowns. A deplorable situation.

We cannot blame the state government for this solely – a good deal of virtue-mongering has been at the hands of clergy and school leaders. Furthering their own interests, they have inveigled the youth of the state to avoid alcohol and adultery…though they have not yet banned advertising. They have organised rallies against badness and for goodness, and for goodness’ sake they have disrupted many of our finer politicians. ( Fine politicians are ones who are fined – gaol politicians are the ones that go to prison. )

Time, we say, to stop this ghastly moral healing and return to good honest rot.

Thankfully, the BGA will be instituting a series of measures designed to bring back the rule of vice and to apply them to all sectors of the population. To this end we are going to introduce a system of Guild Clearances – examination and certification of anyone who wishes to deal with the public to ensure that they are going to be able to degrade their victims correctly. Practical testing will be done by Guild inspectors at regular intervals – applicants for the Guild Clearance must prove that they can get others drunk and dishevelled safely and within a reasonable period of time. Clearances will be issued for a year.

Consultations are also proceeding to plan a campaign against dissemination of religious material in the post. Too often we have gone innocently to our mail box looking for our monthly copy of ” Modern Sleaze ” and been confronted with a tract. This must cease.

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