The Gap Year

I see an advertisement for my iPad news feed – a meal I never touch now – for an article about couples who take a ” gap year ” from their marriage and think themselves better for the experience. I’ve heard the same tale for people who avoid university or other serious commitment; a gap year.

In the case of the high school graduate it is a year of goofing off until they run out of money or parental patience. I suspect that with the marriage it is a case of screwing around.

This is no new thing; dissatisfaction can set in early within a marriage and many of them rupture because of it. The statistics are sad and growing. But a clean break and a new start are far preferable to the mess of a gap and a re-jigged reunion. New starts do not carry twelve months of guilt and resentment. They also do not engender unwanted pregnancies or embarrassing diseases.

A long courtship may not be possible, but for many couples it has a real benefit. They can pass through disillusioned months before serious legal connections are formed. Parting can be sweet sorrow rather than a shit fight.

Note that many educational gap years make the return to study all that much harder…how much harder then to reform a faithful marriage.

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