” The Kitchen Is Shutting “

I’m going to open a café in Perth and name it ” Shutting “. This may put off the New Zealanders, but the name is crucial to the advertising campaign. I’m going to make sure that the name is plastered on every bus stop and hoarding in the town.

Then when every other café and food place declares ” Our kitchen is shutting. ” they will be directing clientele my way.

I’m drawn to this plan by the experience – yet again – of going into a food place both hungry and cashed up and coming out in the same condition. Today it was at 12:00 noon, but this was exceptional. Most other times it was at least 12:30 or 1:00 before the staff decided to stop cooking and serving. A lot of other people in the world regard this as lunchtime, but not when you’re running a restaurant in Perth…

Why? I don’t know. I have no idea when the cool kids are supposed to eat their lunch. It’s evidently not when I do.

Was it always this way? No, it was not. You could get a meal all day long at the Coles cafeteria or up in Boans. You could get a sandwich or cuppa at a tea room. You could go to the Greek milk bar and get a milkshake and an hamburger, and the Greek fried ’em all day. That’s why he retired wealthy.

I have not carried a knapsack with hard tack and a jägerwurst in it for years, nor a tin canteen. But I am considering it for trips to our city centre at lunch time. I may need to hide it from other hungry shoppers.

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