Says your relative at the family party. In a bright and fauxly-interested voice. It is one of those questions that you hear when the conversation about paint drying lags. If they also turn on the Bright Social Face you know you have be presented with a target of opprtunity.
Sip your beverage carefully. Make eye contact. lean slightly forward and whisper:
” Crime. “
Experts and purists will say no more. A slight hint of a wink or smile is permissible, but no more than might be seen in the blink of an eye. Then settle with a pleasantly neutral neutral expression and wait.
The rat in the trap will respond with one of three things:
a. ” Oh, You’re just kidding! “
Say no more. Wink slowly and drift off. If opportunity presents, steal their hat or handbag before the party finishes and throw it away. Admit nothing.
b. ” Well, I was just asking! “
Answer that you were just answering. And then say no more. No need to steal anything. It’s likely you will not have to answer any more questions.
c. ” What sort of crime? “
Answer ” Counterfeiting. It’s worked before and it’ll work again. “