Using Facebook To Promote Things

You can use free internet social media sites to promote a lot of things:

a. Overpriced goods from unknown Chinese shops.

b. Cheap goods from unknown Chinese shops.

c. Vaccine conspiracies.

d. Your local businesses.

e. Your home on-line hustle.

e. The political party you fancy this week.

f. Yourself.

g. Happiness amongst others.

Okay, that started to veer off towards the side of the canal towards the end, but you get the drift. The pages that you inflict upon your friends and acquaintances can cause them to send money to China, your town, the party treasurer, or you, if you play your cards right. You just need to exercise the correct degree of ruthlessness to start the cash flowing.

The choice of the net for this is wise, as there is no law against it. Or rather, the laws against it are so complex that no-one will apply them. Unlike train robbing or emptying poor boxes, you are never called before a magistrate to share the loot.

You may want to establish a series of overseas caches to deposit large amounts of money – assuming you ever get to go there and collect it. On a local basis it is difficult to open hundreds of bank accounts as the government keeps an eye out for this sort of scam. You are best burying jars of coins in the back yard. Pickle jars are the favoured ones because the lids twist off easily.

If you wish to promote chaos and disorder, the net is also a fine vehicle. You must be careful to not over-egg the pudding when you perpetrate a practical joke on people, but learn when to stop.

You can sell religion, faith, and miracles as well. The impetus to superstition is strong in all of us and has been monetised for thousands of years. We’re not likely to encounter any new worlds full of gold and natives any more – so there will be no convenient source of slaves or vast mines to plunder in the name of the one true God. But a little imagination and a good electronic cash handling program can milk a steady income out of any number of true Gods.

Be careful with political parties. They are comprised of people who are more devious than us and you may find yourself doing their bidding rather than vice versa. The worst danger with them is the volatility with which they come in and go out of favour. Each time they need a good deal of your money to move, and it doesn’t matter whether they are going up the ladder of success or coming down it – the price to you is just the same.

Be careful, as well, not to attract the attention of the other sellers. One highly successful coup on your part will have literally hundreds of copycat shysters horning in on your territory. You can shoot the local ones, but the overseas ones are beyond range. Be satisfied with small, repeated gains that never trigger the other crooks.

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