I wish to report an electoral matter, Officer. I have been seduced at the local polling booth.
Party? No idea – the woman who seduced me was not wearing a party button. She may have been a secret agent or a paid operative. Though the fact that she was working at the P&C cake stall would probably rule out her getting paid. P&C’s collect money, not pay it out.
Any rate, she seduced me. I have evidence. There it is at the top of this column. Lemon slices.
Not only did she seduce me into taking five of them away, she charged me money for it all. This must be against some regulation somewhere.
Was I threatened? Well, no, but she did say that if I wasn’t fast with the money someone else would get Mrs. Desouza’s lemon slices. That must count for something.
How much? $ 5. I took five of them. One of the slices may have gone missing at morning tea but I’ve still got the other four as evidence. There may be three after afternoon tea.
Where are they? Hidden from the family. In a secret location. Wouldn’t you like to know where…