Selling The Rotten

I wish to undertake an experiment.

I have a basket of fruit and vegetables that have lain too long in a damp place and have gone rotten. They are disgusting, and really fit only to be binned or buried. I wish to see if I can advertise them in such a way that they can be sold for profit.

It is likely that the customers will have to be pretty unsuspecting – and it would be advantageous if they had no sense of smell. We’re told that this can be a symptom of the Covid virus infection, but I am not sure whether I wish to target this particular market…unless the transaction could be done on-line. I’ll investigate this and get back to you.

In the meantime I need to advertise the mess in such a way as to attract people’s approval. I have decided to do it with a famous figure. I shall exhibit a picture of said person and the rotten vegetation and try to create the impression in people’s minds that the picture represents a spokesperson who approves of it all. The internet should be able to supply any number of images for which I need not pay.

But who to choose? A saint of the church? A king or queen? A beloved motion picture performer? Who is likely to have traction amongst the gullible? I don’t need adulation – just someone to buy the rotten mess. I’ve cleaned out the pantry and I hope it won’t happen again.

Mind you, if I get a buyer that yields a good profit…

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