Please Contact Us On Our Hell Line

No, it’s not a misprint. We have outsourced customer service once and for all.

We got tired of the incoming calls from people who wanted us to do things that would require:

a. Effort.

b. Kindness.

c. Loss of profit.

d. Admissions of guilt or incompetence.

None of these problems exist now that there are actual, rather than amateur, demons answering the phone. There are still problems, mind, but they are the ones that the customers have when they ring in and the Hell line makes sure that these are not transferred to us. It is a carefree arrangement and we are satisfied.

This may seem a cold and uncaring attitude upon our part – but we assure you that the location of the new call centre is anything but cold. And in fact the new business arrangements are the result of customer suggestion. Whenever we have failed to please you in the past you have suggested that we go to Hell. It was only a matter of time before management listened.

Those customers who do not have a mobile phone are encouraged to download the app on their lawnmower and contact us for speedy service.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close