Have you considered applying for inclusion? If you have been at all associated with the recent elections you may wish to avail yourself of this opportunity.
You will be met by trained operatives and whisked away to a secret location where you will be issued with a number – not a name – and introduced to your new employment. You have a choice of mining for salt, sulphur, or coal and we can assure you that there will be no fear of losing this job while you are alive. Far from it.
Our safe havens are located all over the world; Siberia, Chile, China…If you ever had a wanderlust this will cure you.
And will anyone ever find you? Ask Judge Crater – one of our satisfied customers. He was here just a minute ago…