Telling An Apocryphal Story

a. Tell it as you received it. Don’t add anything. It will have been boosted past truth long before you heard it and there is no need to tie another rocket to the tail.

b. Do not project yourself or your family into it. Some bastard will get all clinical, legal, and evidential and nail you into specifying times and places. You’ll be forced to invent more lies than you can well support.

c. Remember that your story is international and spread over a long period of time. Someone heard it before with a different location and different actors and if they wish to prick your balloon they’ll retell it that way. On a good day you can get three or four separate versions from as many speakers. Then they’ll all turn to look at you…

d. Do you know what the Apocrypha is or was? And what happened to it? I’ll bet you’ll go google this right now. We’ll wait until you get back.

e. Everyone values a liar…but rarely at the same price they set upon themselves. If you wish to label yourself as such, leave space on the back of the tag for discounting.

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