‘Tis The Season

To be mystified. I discovered these on the hall table as we cleaned up the Christmas decorations.

They are well-made, heavy, and intended for some purpose that escapes me. The closest I can get is the thought that they are the Landing Officer’s paddles from an Amish aircraft carrier.

Other things have surfaced that seem to be beverages but not as we know them. Christmas seems to bring out the worst in the distillers. If it brought out the wurst in the meat packers I should not complain. I suspect that some of the bottles of watercress champagne and Olde Santa’s Secret Brewe are intended to be given away next year as corporate gifts. I should not approach their corks with a Mills bomb, let alone an opener.

I do not seem to have been given a Christmas Garment this year – possibly because I did not go to an extended family luncheon where it could be remarked by the crowd. I am not discouraged – there must be a Hawaiian Bongo Shirt somewhere that will be on special around Easter and I can snap it up. I hope to pair it with a naked girl tie as soon as I can find a naked girl to tie up.

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