My email account brings me news of new readers for this column. In the last few months it has burgeoned. However, upon examination, many of the ” readers ” seem to be doing so only to urge me to invest in their schemes to make money. I can have unearned income, passive income, fabulous income or any other form that seems to be saleable. The problem for these robotic readers is I am not buying.
Indeed, I am not selling, either. This column doesn’t tout for goods, services, or vicious traits. It is written to entertain, and that chiefly to entertain the writer. I assure you that anything that gets published is approved by me.
I’ll correct myself there. I am actually selling – not buying. More and more I am falling into the comfortable arms of frugality and simplicity…and, like any new convert, I am pestering others to be as holy as I think myself. I applaud the sound of a pinched penny and look upon Ebenezer Scrooge as a hero role-model. Had I come earlier to this I would be much richer and even more obnoxious.
I do not forbid anyone to follow the column. People may gain from it what pain and misery they like, and are welcome to cry piteously as they expire in a ditch. Should they wish me to make an especial column for them, they have only to ask. Should they wish me to write about someone else, the price list is appended. There is a discount for pensioners and a further 3% reduction for the irascible.