We’re Old Folks

We eat early.

Which is consistent with the fact that we go to bed early. But we stay awake late. And we get up frequently to sit on a cold toilet seat. The only companion we have during this midnight vigil is the cat.

However, there are compensatory factors. We get to judge everyone for everything, and few people contest our decisions. Of course the sentences we pass on the culprits are never carried out – the public guillotine having been dismantled years ago – but we do have the satisfaction of knowing what is coming to them.

Another advantage of being an Old Folk is that, just as you do not have to be nice to people, you also do not have to be nasty either. You have passed that point and you can now just milk every situation for the humour within it. You can bumble and get away with it. A winsome smile will cover the most appalling behaviour. You can be outrageous without having to wear the consequences of the outrage.

Of course there are duties as well as pleasures. We are required to be either perfectly dressed or wrapped in rags. Nothing in between is acceptable. We are debarred by law from purchasing clothing with insignias or brands displayed on it. But we can wear pants from 1964.

Likewise we can eat things that have gone out of fashion. If they taste good they are fine, and none of us are impressed by raspberry coulis on a vast white plate. We wipe it off with a napkin and demand HP sauce.

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