Sex And Crustacea

Or ” How to run a successful prawn site…. “.

By now you’ll have started to regret clicking on this link. Do not run and delete your history just yet – it gets worse and you’ll want to see the bodies before the coroner takes them away.

Here in Australia we have had a number of natural disasters – bushfires, floods, and earthquakes. We’ve had a number of un-natural ones as well – Granville, Westgate Bridge, and Russ Hinze come to mind. We’ve sat glued to the television screen as the rescuers sift through the rubble and the news presenters weep crocodile tears. We’ve donated to pop-up charities that promised to make it all better, but made it worse. If you’re reading this from outside Australia, you’ll have had your own experience of the same sort of things.

And there’ll be more, as the mechanism of sophisticated manipulation seeks out troubles to mine. If it can be imagined, you can pay for it.

But back to the prawns. We also had Paul Hogan – a local hero in a locality that makes heroes out of some very crude ingredients. You loved him in America as Crocodile Dundee, and he sold you on the idea of coming to Australia as a tourist – rather than as a convict. He promised to throw a shrimp on the barbie, and in doing so divorced himself from Australian regard forevermore…in much the same way that he managed his other divorces. He was a fraud – promising much he could not deliver…

We do not have shrimps in Australia.

We have prawns. They look like very large shrimp and they can be caught in the oceans and rivers about the place, and cooked in a bucket over a fire on the river shore or on the beach. They can be eaten hot or cold, with sauce or lemon, or raw, if you are new to the place…

But they have never been shrimps, and never will be.

Wait a minute. You look worried? You know about the crustacea…the prawns. But you’re looking for the sex?

Well, you can do more with a bucket of hot water on the sea shore than just cook shellfish, you know.

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