A Bartender, A Whore, And Chicken Walk Into A Church…

Or it might have been into a schul. Or a mosque. Depends on who’s telling the joke and who they wish to treat with contempt.

In any case, they’ll have spent a good deal of time setting up the straight lines so that they can deliver the zinger at the end to ridicule Donald Trump or Nancy Pelosi. When someone starts to crank up this sort of comic machinery, do the decent thing – wait through to the end before you raise a lip in salute.

You’re not alone in thinking that you’ve heard it before. This sort of boff has been going since the Wilson administration and it has yet to get a clean or genuine laugh. That’s because it isn’t actually a joke – it’s a vehicle for the bigotry, prejudice, and ill manners of the teller. This will not stop it from continuing onward – after all, they still find preserved shit from the Viking era in Yorkshire and it’s nearly as fresh as it was originally.

Every president of the US who hasn’t been protected with a tan coating or a vagina ( and we think that’s just the one, but we’re not so sure ) has been subjected to this sort of joke. Also Prime Ministers of Australia, New Zealand, Canada, the UK, etc. It has been a weapon of war in all conflicts – aimed at whatever head of state opposes the teller. In many cases you can find the same ammunition used by both sides in a war. Just change the names and fire it again.

It is marginally useful against large targets – they probably don’t care – but it can be devastating if used on local councillors or hated family members. All you need to do with the former is whisper it to a reporter from a free supermarket newspaper ( They’ll eventually print anything to use up copy space ). The latter is best targeted at a family holiday dinner when you can pretend that you’ve had too much to drink. You’ll never be forgiven, mind, but you’ll buy enough time to get out the front door.

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