Are there Vegetable Spies?

I have been asked to take a job as an industrial spy. Well, actually an artistic spy. In any case it involves lurking, a fedora, and a trench coat and I’m in. They had me at the fedora.

I’ll be reporting to the Big Boss. I’m hoping for an expense account, a Walther PPK, and a Cone of Silence. I’ll settle for a cone of vanilla with sprinkles.

The whole sordid episode – and I do hope it will be sordid – makes me wonder if there are industrial spies in trades other than engineering and computer components. Are there air compressor spies or furniture spies, or vegetable-farming spies? What do they spy upon and how do they go about it?

More importantly, what do the Big Bosses who control them do with the information? You can report how many fighter planes the enemy deploys at secret airfields but how many carrots are growing seems a sort of a come down. Might be of interest to the rabbits  but surely a carrot is a carrot to everyone else.

The idea of industrial spying is not nearly as exciting as the political or military sort, but I’ll bet it pays better. And one supposes that there is less opportunity to get shot. Whipped with carrots, perhaps.

Are there glamorous females lurking in tight dresses at the end of the rhubarb patch? I can only hope.

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