Blessings From Above

Whenever someone pious tells you that good things descend upon us from above, remind them that it is the same delivery system for mortar rounds.

Of course some people deserve more of this sort of blessing than others, and I would welcome a chance  to provide them, but there are inconvenient laws. In the past I have had to settle for daubing them with Golden Syrup and shaking a jar of ants over them. There are statutes, of course, about ” noxious substances ” and ” wild life ” but Golden Syrup is actually pretty good and insects are not covered by the state fauna laws.

The concept of a blessing from above revolves around two points; someone being in control of someone else and holding the power of doing them good or bad. And then deciding on the former rather than the latter. It’s a power play no matter how you look at it. If you decide to give the power to an invisible supreme being that you declare is your friend, you ask for blessings, and those who receive them are then obligated to you. Doing it the other way and asking for curses is also possible. You only get a favourable result in this if you are a prophet – most other people cursing just get cursed back in return.

Quite what the deity you have invoked might think of this is unknown. Presumably He, She, or It has Their own opinion and plan of action and using them like a remote machine gun turret operated by your fire control station is rather like  making God into a B-29.

I prefer to leave divinity out of the bless/curse/loot-the-survivors cycle. If there is any of that sort of thing needed I like to see to it myself. This is not overweening pride – more of a division of labour. God can make a tree and thunderstorms – I just settle for making a nuisance of myself.

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