Just Look At This Graph

It shows the degree of time that different states feel that someone might influenced by the amount of uncertainty ( adjusted for the Reichsholz factor in the northern hemisphere ) by present trends. No data was available from Swaziland so a tonally biased exterpolation was used.

If you are concerned by this graph contact your state office of anxiety and ask to speak to a trained alienist. Callers from Roswell, New Mexico will be charged only for a local call.

And there we have the current state of play in the media game. If you came in during the last quarter you’ll have seen that there has been a rise in the number of people throwing old pizza boxes into the trash. As this has not resulted in a sufficient rise in the sales of newspapers*, sterner measures will be imposed. The bar graphs may have to be shut and reopened with plexiglass shields between the X and Y axes.

*  We mean the sales of newspapers to the public for a coupla bucks…not the sales of the things to other newspaper proprietors. That never stops.

Heading Image: Nothing to do with viruses. Just the Iranian navy firing at an excursion steamer.

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