The Children’s Crusade

The Backstabbers Guild Of Australia is on a Crusade. Not a religious one, of course. That sort of thing is hardly our field of endeavour – we are on a quest to find a good use for schoolchildren.

Now, of course there are plenty of people who have already found a use for them -as students, household drudges, scapegoats, industrial slaves, objects of adoration, etc, etc. We are looking more for a way to use them as generators of money. Little pieces of bait, as it were, to attract a steady income.

Drawing upon the history of Children’s Crusades – Nicholas of Köln and Stephen of Cloyes in particular – we are conscious of the need to provide a plausible reason to lure the children way from their parents and homes. Then we need to have a place to send them, and a mechanism to reduce their numbers to a manageable and saleable few at the end of the process. Of course we will not be adverse to auctioning them off in batches along the way – as dewy-eyed innocents or useful idiots most likely. It will be a good thing if it can be done before they start to cost too much in food or transportation.

It’s been suggested by some that this is reprehensible – that using the young and foolish to mask political agendas of the old and cynical is just a vile practice. Possibly, but think of it in this way; if they are roaming the downtown streets looking for trouble, at least they are not at home causing it. And that’ll keep ’em off the lawn.

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