Did you know the following facts?
- The best way to spread a computer virus is to sneeze onto the keyboard and press Command> Enter.
- Only malware properly registered with the Central Bureau Of Mis-Information is allowed on Russian computers.
- It is easier to hack a Windows 10 computer than it is to hock it.
- Many of the keys on the standard qwerty keyboard do nothing at all – they are just there because the key maker wants a greater profit. Stand up for your rights. Spell ” through ” as ” thru “.
- You cannot recycle a French mime. No facility on Earth will accept them and you will just end up having to store them in your shed. Marcel Marceau ended up behind the paint tins and old motor oil in a Bordeaux garage for decades.
- No-one has ever successfully impersonated you. Even you are rather suspect and most people think you are doing it poorly.
- In China women hold up half the sky but their percentage of success in holding up traffic in Winthrop and Leeming car parks is far greater.
- Iran was not responsible for the 1883 explosion of Krakatoa in the Dutch East Indies. But I’ll bet they wish they were…
- No Canadian hockey team has ever won in the Pakistan League. This is because the Canadians insist on wearing skates and heavy padded uniforms and the Pakistanis are clothed in team jerseys and shorts. Also the games are held on grass, and not ice. Bad translation of the rules has always been blamed.
- You cannot touch your ear with your elbow, but you can touch those of other people. This leads to criminal charges.
- The term ” Public Service ” was first used in 358 BC when the Egyptian Execution Office was set up in Room 45 in the Pyramids. People lined up and took numbers in the waiting room. They are currently calling N0.28…
- The term ” Baker’s Dozen ” was invented to steal bread from bakers under threat of torture.