Let’s face it. There are a whole lot of difficulties that would dissolve if we were allowed to make more use of the slingshot and the bag of gravel.
a. Traffic holdups.
Not that the SAABOG would help if there are cars t-boned at an intersection or flipped over on the side of the road. But it would sure clear up a lot of those scenes where two entitleds are yelling at each other over a fender-bender.
Not to mention the bicycle riders five abreast.
b. Ethnic dancing festivals.
I like ethnic dancing and photograph it frequently. The best stuff is terrific, but the worst stuff is also terrific – using a more precise definition of the word. It gets bad as the tempo slows and once you have reached to point of art set to modern atonal music you can be forgiven for reaching for the SAABOG. A couple of well-aimed flints can start the slowest dancer and a wise shooter will drive them toward the exits.
c. ” You kids get off my lawn! ”
Don’t yell at ’em. SAABOG. No noise, no smoke, no smell.
d. Does the local dog chase you when you walk down the street? Have you tried politely asking the neighbours to prevent this from happening? Did they laugh at you? Were you embarrassed and distressed?
There’s still gonna be embarrassment and distress, but now it’ll be a shared set of emotions.
E. Same neighbours?Same attitude? Wild parties every weekend that go until 4:00AM?
SAABOG. After the midnight cutoff point when the cops refuse to come out yet again, start firing gravel up into the air in a high arc from your darkened yard. You might be horrified at the price of howitzer ammunition these days but gravel is cheap. Treat yourself.