- Thou shalt refer to ice hockey as hockey. Thou shalt keep the festival of the Stanley Cup holy and undefiled.
- Thou shalt refer to gridiron football as football and to round ball football as soccer. Thou shalt keep the festival of the Grey Cup holy and undefiled.
- Thou shalt revere the salmon.
- Thou shalt revere maple syrup and not scream when thou dost see the price that they are trying to gouge for it.
- Thou shalt hate the American President and love the Canadian Prime Minister, no matter who they are and what they do, lest they become one and the same person.
- Thou shalt revere the CBC and revile the CBS, even if the shows are much the same.
- Thou shalt honour the memory of Ypres and Dieppe but not think too carefully about what actually happened – nor why.
- Thou shalt quake and tremble before the Lord, thy God, or if the Lord is busy at the time, before his deputies – the politicians of Quebec.
- Thou shalt apologise.
- Thou shalt glory in being right when that occurs and in being wrong when that occurs and film a documentary on both occasions with harmonica or accordion music.
Take these two tablets and if thy people will not heed, come back up the mountain, eh?