” I Used To Love You, But…”

Well that’s a great thing to hear, isn’t it? Woe, woe, misery me…

Well, actually, it is a great thing to hear – and for more reasons than you might think:

a. If someone used to love you it shows that you are lovable. You may not perceive this instantly in the mirror if you have been reading Mills and Boon novels or looking at the bright magazines at the checkout…and notice that you don’t look or sound like any of the heroes or heroines of fiction. But someone did see something in you.

b. If they include the word ” but “, there’s a good chance they are trying to show you theirs…and they are moving away. Smile and wave, Kowalski, and reflect that when they are gone there’s going to be a whole new world of other people to love you. If you had vanilla last time you can have chocolate next…or strawberry.

c. If you never knew they loved you, you might want to re-run the tape of your relationship and look more carefully at it. Their love may have been all tenderness and fluffy pillows or it might have been slashed tyres and headaches. If you didn’t actually see any signs of it –  – in any form – you ain’t gonna be missing much in the future. Refer back to ( b. ) above and go out to a party.

d. ” But, it’s all over now. ” Well ffetch a cloth, Granville. And some Jeyes fluid.

e. ” But my standards have dropped. ”

f. ” But then I saw you in your true light. ”

True lights are a getting tougher to find in the shops. You can get LED lights and cheap Christmas lights, but true lights are difficult. Be grateful that you got to have a go while you could. If it’s any help, you can get Everready flashlights at the service station…

g. ” But now I love another. ”

Great. I’d love another myself. Make mine a pint of Double Diamond. And see if they have any packets of crisps.





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