Goodness gracious me, it is perfectly correct and fine for me to refer to myself as I, RS. Golly Golly Gosh. My name really is Richard Stein, and it really is I calling. You just have to listen carefully for the comma. It only comes around once in 80 some-odd years. It’s a Haley’s Comma**.
I think this will be a perfect time to get myself one of those telephone schemes where you get to make free calls overseas. I will call people selected at random in the United States and introduce myself as I, RS. Instead of threatening them with investigation and jail time if they don’t give me their computer and credit card details, I will offer them discounts on canned luncheon meat.
Of course eventually someone I phone is going to twig that it is a Spam call, and either get mad or start to laugh. Either way I am onto a good thing, because I have written down the mobile telephone numbers of several people I detest and I am going to blurt them out over the phone. With a bit of luck it will go viral, or at least bacterial.
I’ll be happy with any form of sepsis.
*Local suburb with many people of Indian ethnicity in it, is it?
**And wasn’t that a fraud the last time it appeared. I’m damned if I am going to stay alive just to see it next time. Fool me once…