Going Forward From Being Right To Being Righteous

sitting-duckRelax, folks. This one isn’t about politics. Not unless you want to write a hidden agenda yourself. If you need to do that, copy and paste the text into a Word program and increase the spacing to double – then type whatever you want in the gaps between the lines. Send me a copy – I like a bit of reading before bedtime.

No, it is not about politics. Or religion. It is about sex. And now that you’re awake…

I noted on my Facebook account recently that a Perth hotel made a foolish decision to promote themselves for New Years Eve beer sales by pretending to hold a ” Frat Party ” – complete with tasteless signs displayed from the balcony of the Edwardian-era building.

They were promptly bagged by the local media, and then by everyone who reads the local media, and then by everyone who reads the re-posts of the people who saw it first…The whole episode has blossomed into a shitstorm of bad publicity and outrage. And we here at the Backstabbers Guild Of Australia can only applaud all parties involved – everyone has gotten what they really want for Christmas with this one. To wit:

a. The people who become righteously outraged at insults to women are righteously outraged at this obvious insult. No need to footle about. This one is out there steaming on the footpath.

b. The people who want to write something on Facebook can get a good one in with ” What She Said ” and other such sentiments.

c. The jobsworths in the city council have a lever against the publican. Archimedes himself couldn’t make a better one, and he only had to move the Earth. Publicans have more money than the Earth…Let’s see what happens when we heave…

d. The other publicans in the area can sell beer or mimosa cocktails to protesters who flock around the first pub and get thirsty.

e. The righteous are right. They now have a licence to stand on the street corner and pray. Or at least on the electronic street corner. Cyber-Pharisees, if you will.  I have been searching the dictionary to see if there is a ” wrongteous ” but so far no luck. There may be something in another language…

f. The spokesman for the venue has apologised. To no avail, of course, because something this good/bad/good/bad cannot be allowed to languish until the last drop of social justice has been wrung out of it. Heads must, with any luck, roll – and they must roll, with any luck, publicly. And the righteous will, with any luck, be there to kick them along the street. As far as they can be kicked.

g. And finally. Finally. The pub has the loudest publicity of any beer joint in Perth two days out from one of the two biggest beer-selling nights of the year. A month away from the other one. They could not have purchased media coverage like this for a million dollars. And it is all being trumpeted by the righteous. For free. Gordon Gecko sinks into the shade.

Note: Next year they should do a Salvation Army Party on New Years Eve. Complete with burlesque. As long as the bonnets and bosoms hold up and the tambourines and tits can stand the strain they will be making big money.

As Macbeth said ” Is this a crock I see before me? “.



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